As parents, we all want the same thing…
for our children to be a positive member of society and experience success.
While these are important things, they often come through a push to achieve and be the best in everything. Unfortunately, this is frequently done through comparing our children to others. This, however, often leads to stress and lower self-esteem in kids. What is important to remember is that each child has different strengths and rates at which they develop.
Sometimes, parents still compare their child to others in class. There is nothing to worry about, they will each achieve the skill when they are ready. The important thing is that they are both achieving new successes compared to where they were before as an individual.
The ultimate goal of this program is to help each child become the best version of themselves. In this statement, “of themselves” is the key. It is important to remember there are individual differences among the children including strengths and rate of learning.
As Robert John Meehan said, “Every child has a different learning style and pace. Each child is unique, not only capable of learning but also capable of succeeding.”
And yes, there is a time for a healthy form of competition in order to sometimes give children a little push out of their comfort zone to achieve another level. However, when discussing individual development, one child cannot be compared to another while still aiming to instill self-esteem and drive. Besides, if we could all do the exact same thing at every level, what fun would that be?
We have to remember to meet children where they are in their own individual development. From there, we can make their strengths greater and help them improve in the areas that are more challenging for them.
Appreciate each child’s uniqueness and foster their individual development by celebrating their successes and creating the drive in them to achieve more. This use of extrinsic and intrinsic motivation will move them closer to success than comparison will.
We all need to remember,
Don’t compare our child to others.
There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon.
They shine when it’s their time.