Over the years We’ve heard this statement thousands of times. To be very clear and honest about this statement. Children don’t quit things, parents do. This statement is usually a way to play mental gymnastics on who’s responsibility it is to make decisions on what’s best for our family. By saying “my child wants to quit” it takes the responsibility and ownership of what really happened off our shoulders.
We see these things often enough to see very common threads in how this happens:
1. The car ride to and from practice becomes a place to share the disappointment with their performance.
2. Conversations are had in front of children about how we as parents disagree with something the coaches do causing a loss of trust in the child’s eyes.
3. The kids caught us on a day where we felt like being “lazy” and got us to agree to let them stay home from practice. This creates a sense of “it’s okay to skip” attitude in kids….. they will not only do this over and over, they will actually start to fight you because it was “okay” once.
4. Kids were allowed to quit prior commitments with no consequences.
A few questions to ask yourself when this thought arises:
A. Would I let my child quit school?
B. Would I let my child make all their own rules?
C. Just because my child doesn’t like things that are good for them, should I let them eat nothing but junk food.
D. Would I like my child to go down a path of self-destructive behaviors with real-world consequences?
Here’s the thing.
- Someday you’re going to be the bad guy.
- Someday they’ll be mad that you made them go.
- Someday you’ll be tired or sick & not want to leave the house.
- Someday you’ll want to play hookie.
- Someday you won’t be their friend.
- Someday. They. Will. Thank. You.
They’ll thank you for all the lessons you taught them. They’ll come to you and say “now that I have my own kids I completely understand why you did those things.” They’ll respect your hard choices.
It. Will. Be. Worth. It.
Not tomorrow, next week or even next month. Years from now.
It. Will. Be. Worth. It. ……… Stay strong everyone.
Don’t give up on yourselves. You’re all doing amazing.
Need some help allowing your child to develop the Grit To Not Quit?
Contact one of our expert team members for a free consultation.