Here’s a great activity to do with your child to help them understand reactions better.
1. Ask your child to give you the 1st reaction to your action.
2. After they agree, step towards them and put your guard up in an aggressive fighting stance fashion. Inevitably, they respond by putting their guard up as well.
3. Next, have them put their guard down and ask them again if they will give you their first reaction to your action.
4. After they agree, extend your hand out in friendship. They always respond in turn.
5. Then, finally, ask them to put their guard up. When it is up, extend out my hand in friendship. They will most likely give you a blank stare followed up with a handshake.
The point of this drill is to make everyone aware of how natural it is to react to the energy of others by mirroring their energy. When someone acts defensive towards us (guard up), it is hard not to act defensive back.
Likewise, when someone is friendly towards us (hand out), it is pretty easy to return the favor.
The real challenge for us lays in the third example. When you cross paths with someone who has their guard up, can you resist the instinct to respond in turn and instead, put your hand out in a gesture of friendship?
It is not easy and it takes a mindful effort, but the results can be stunning.
So the next time you find yourself in a hostile environment, I challenge you to resist your first instinct, no matter how strong, and really try to bring a hand of friendship. What happens is pretty amazing.
